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​hello xxx
You know, it's very complicated for me and I know that it's really not easy for people to understand me. I'm an autistic but not a "real" autistic. I can speak (not loud), I can communicate very badly... on my body, my face, I have a lot of scars.. my nose, I can put it where I want, on the right, on the left,up, down... I sometimes have fun in meals y changing its place and I look at the heads of people who bugs and wonder if they have hallucinations...
When I was little, I drove my parents crazy...
I understand them... I understand my father hitting me... I don't blame him, even though I never want to see him again...
I'm very angry at my mother, my sister, my parents' friends who didn't say anything...
And then one day I decided to be what thry thought of me...
A heartless one with them...
Because better being hit for a good reason...
And then I was interned in a psychiatric hospital...
At the time we didn't know that spectrum...
We were classified as scydophrenics...
With just this mention... Very intelligent scydophrenic...
I saw the joy in my parents, my family...
They were full of guilt...
And then 10 years later I was an interned again... Forced...
And then, the diagnosis wasn't the same...
Asperger's...
To get out of the hospital my parents had to sign a paper...
But I also had to accept...
So they asked me what I want...
I said...
I want my parents to admit that they were wrong.
I had to stay in that hospital for four months more and I would've stayed there my whole life if they hadn't accept to recognize...
That day there were all the corpses in the ward...
Police, fireman, prefect, and five psychiatrists...
They recognized...
10 minutes in their lives...


For us, Aspergers, words are very important...
Because we had to learn them...
Not like normal people...
We hold on to their definition...
On the apps4idevices website there was my dictionary...


Every day I fight...
This morning again and a few times, unfortunately very rarely. Some people can read between the lines like this morning here...


https://youtu.be/oZWOYtVHpkY


like you...
I've spent so much time these last 6 months helping...
I've had people come to me at a young age who didn't understand why I'm helping out like this...
One person even asked me what the hidden reason was...
I told him any... Just to help, that's all...
I guess he didn't believe me... Because my 1,000-word message was unanswered...,
Yeah, I don't like the unlikes on my videos...
But it has nothing to do with ego...
I just would like to understand what's wrong...
How he can make me better...
This year the percentage of like vs. one like was 98.3% like...
I want 100%.
I don't want to leave anyone out...


I get arrested here a lot...
There are police roadblocks in Thailand...
Immigration...
I have a motorcycle with no papers, no license, no passport, nothing...
Every time I get stopped I take off my helmet and say:
Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Look at my eyes!
I'm a good person....
And every time they let me go...


I'm 1,000 percent sure I'm a good person...
There's no pretension in that..,
I'm sure...
But if people want me to be the devil, then to them I'd be worse than the devil...
Because I don't exist in this world.,..,
so I have nothing to lose.
Scydophrenics live in many worlds, like us Aspergers... They are different characters in each of their worlds...
We are the same in all our worlds...


In Thailand you can be a boy or a girl. A lady boy, cat boy, whatever you want, people accept...
When I got to where I live, after a week the chief of the neighborhood came to see me and asked me if I was crazy...
I said yes...
He smiled, offered me his hand and said welcome...
I am what I am 100%.
I don't have to be 50 percent of me...


I spent that last month doing something I swore I wouldn't do anymore...
Something where I'm a professional.
Being abject, horrible...
I know how to do it, I've learned from normal people how to do it...
And I'm really, really glad I did it...
(I know there's gotta be another way... Better, I see people do it... But I just can't do it. Not yet...)
I had a fashion shop in Paris, Montmatre, has a street in one of the most exclusive districts of Paris...
It was a huge shop with a recording studio on the end of it...
The shop was open from 9 am to 4 am...
The police came to see me a few times and told me it was too dangerous...
I was telling them don't worry...
And one day, at three o'clock in the morning, some robbers came...
3 with guns....
I said hello, I took the iron bar that I used to pull down the metal curtain and blew my face off in front of them...
But really explode...
I think they're still running...


A lot of people here believe that to be an artist is to practice an art...
Everything is art, everything is creation....
From the moment it's true....
I've never yet met a happy artist... A happy intelligent man..
And yet I've been living in the art world since I was born ....
Since I've never met an artist who isn't angry...


we took an artist out to be a baker, hairstylist, gardener, as long as we do it with our heart with 200% honesty ... truth ... that's not what we do with an artist . that is what we are ... an arist should be as hateful as love ...
To be loved is so easy


So thanks to the ones who loved what I did and was here.
And thanks to the ones who hated me for what I did and hat I was here...


This is the new links
Facebook Group: The iOS Community
https://www.facebook.com/groups/801832596907349/
New Blog
https://theioscommunity.weebly.com

​Keep in mind that here nothing can be out of topic!

My best
And happy new year
Ed